Support, The Aftermath of Rape, and the E-Guide Part 1

The first time I was raped, I was completely alone. I was nineteen years old in a new city, where they mostly spoke another language. I didn't know where to go, much less where the hospital was. I certainly wasn't about to report it to the police, who whistled at me on the way to work every morning. I was on an internship, as part of my college program, in a place other students before me had gone before. In fact, a science teacher had told...

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Why We Need Compassionate Care (and Services) After Rape (or Sexual Assault) Part 2

This is Part 2 of Why We Need Compassionate Care (and Services) After Rape (or Sexual Assault) Part 1. Please read Part 1 first. We need service providers who listen and emphathize, who reassure us it wasn't our fault. We need providers who ask us before they touch our bodies, telling us what they're doing and why. We need service providers who ask us how they can help us. Three years later Sparrow was raped again. She planned on not...

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Why We Need Compassionate Care (and Services) After Rape (or Sexual Assault) Part 1

Sparrow was just 16 when she was raped. Scared and confused, she wound up at a local Emergency Department to make sure everything was OK and to get a rape kit done for evidence against her attacker. But when the nurses and doctors came in, they just started doing procedures to her without telling her what they were doing or why, in sensitive private places where she had just been attacked. They never introduced themselves or presented themselves...

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Are You Having Consensual Sex? (A Checklist)

If you're in doubt as to whether you're about to have consensual sex, gather some more information. (The following is written as if you have one sex partner involved. If you have multiple sex partners involved, you need to make sure you answer the questions for every partner involved.) 1. Is your potential sex partner indicating they want to have sex with you? Inviting you into their apartment, going to your place, and being married or in a relationship with them is not clear indication in itself. The best indication would the other person...

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The Myth of the Perfect Rape Victim

Let me tell you a fairy tale. It goes a little something like this. Once upon time there was a young, white, straight, and happily married (or maybe a virgin or maybe both) woman. One day she went for a jog along with her husband (or maybe it was a group of friends) in a completely safe, upper class neighborhood in broad daylight. (Not by herself because women going We can fight the web of lies being told about rape. places by their selves would...

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7 Ways to Legally Fight Back After Rape

If you've reached a point where you want fight back after your rape, here are seven ways to legally do so.... 7. Report It to the Police Being raped is a horrible thing. Most rapists rape over and over and over again. You have the power to stop one rapist. You have the power to prevent other people from living the pain you may be in now. Fight Back Against Rape Photo by rogamuffin (Creative Commons) Now I'm not saying it's...

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Why Banning Abortion With the Exception of Rape Would Be Just A Bandaid for Rape Victims

I know a woman who was date raped in the early 70's in college. Weeks later she found out she was pregnant, so she took a trip hours long to New York City to an auditorium full of women like her, getting abortions performed in almost factory-like assembly lines. She described it as pain, demoralizing, and one of the worst experiences of her life. But her only other options were to carry the rapist's baby to term or to use the dangerous and infamous...

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